two feet.............

Sitting all alone in one of the days of my life I wrote this……….. 

One day I decided to move alone and though it was hard and I almost fell down moving ahead but I stood up and reminded myself that I came in this world all alone and I not only had the right to walk all alone but I also had the right to move ahead with my head up and a smile on my face and believe me or not the walk actually became much smoother and enjoyable. I was even able to feel the slowest of wind pass through my hair and enjoy it.

Earlier I was so scared to be alone that I chose a life which was with a person who made me feel miserable all the time and I know all you people who are suffering and have become the victims of love knowingly or unknowingly have ended up in such a situation all because of one universal sole reason, this side of the bridge was more lonelier than the side where someone stood behind you waiting to push you from that bridge……………………….wasn’t it? So you all like me stood where someone was throwing u away slowly and slowly from that bridge where you once saw hope and love and with each push you lost hope, you lost your confidence, your dreams, and most importantly your life. Someone else became the master of the life that belonged to you and you just stood there feeling nothing but sorry for yourself. Feeling and asking yourself where things did went wrong. Waiting for that cruel love of yours to return to you and I know like me you all tried your best to lie to your heart that everything is going to be alright but you know something the heart knows everything if you look deeply and listen carefully what it has to say. My heart told me to move out but I didn’t listened to my heart and I lied to my heart and to myself and for that period I suffered. I suffered till the core. I gave a place to pain & suffering in my heart and each day I felt someone was pricking needles in my body and it didn’t hurt to feel that pricking of needles in my body but it did hurt to see that the one who was pricking needles was someone who promised me to love me forever, someone I loved………………………………………………………
Yes it indeed hurt exactly that way……. I looked for help and always thought that someone would come and rescue me but no one did. And you know why??? Because I didn’t do what was I supposed to do. I didn’t take the first step which is the most important step to move towards that aisle of a wonderful life that awaited me. I was scared and wanted someone to hold me and get me out of that marshland of so called love when I even refused to move an inch. No one in this world, not even god can help you if you are not going to take that step and move ahead in your life. When I used to think about moving ahead all alone instead of moving ahead I ended up taking 5 steps back and after months of failed attempts I ended up right where I was…………… nowhere actually. All I did was cried, cried and cried from dawn till dusk I cried my hearts out but the person I cried for decided to walk away by stepping on my tears. Once what I thought to be a paradise turned to hell when I realized that the person who got me into this paradise was a vampire wearing a mask of an angel just to get me in. and until I realized where I landed, it was too late because I had fallen in love with the vampire and I tried my best to convert him to an angel but I only lost myself in that hell. Hell where I was loved and hated at the same time. So I just could not understand where actually was I? And it took me almost 9 months to get myself completely out of that hell and after those nine months I felt I was born again. And ironically it actually does take nine months for a life to come on to this earth. Earlier I used to crazily look here and there to find a reason to smile as if I was looking for a treasure and now I just don’t need any reason to smile. I just go in front of the mirror, I pose and I just smile and thank god for this wonderful life where he blessed me with things that people outside in the harsh world are killing each other to posses. Simple things like a bed, a meal, a roof, a blanket to cover in the chilling winter. When I tuck myself in my bed with a hot water bottle and not one but as many blankets I wished to have I remember someone I saw sleeping on the road with a half torn blanket and shivering like I never known the shivers. I just can not help but bend on my knees to thank god for the simple yet extraordinary things he gifted me with. When you feel low just don’t think what that person did to you after all the love and care you provided. Think of the things that god and your parents provided you with when you didn’t even asked for them. When I look back now I just see myself as a victim of love but now I am a provider of love where I love even a small moment in my life….
You have to take the road, the road where you have to dare to take the first step toward your own life and it will sure take time for you to make that walk a perfect walk but as you move ahead just see how many people will surround you and follow you and most significantly smile along with you… all you need is courage. I showed some courage and almost fell but stood up again and when I looked behind I found that there were numerous hands on my back who helped me stand on the most wonderful thing God provided me with…………my two feet.